Spreading Joy

When I started reading The Shack in September 2009, it was towards the end of a long battle.  Even though I was strong for my family & I trusted and relied on the strength of the Lord and prayers from friends and family, a great sadness enveloped me.  My family had literally been through one of the most grievous years I can remember.  We battled doctors on behalf of my daughter Meg who could no longer digest solid food, wondered & prayed about employment for my husband Steve and left my only son at college – 15 hours away.  I picked up The Shack and read the first chapter. My heart was pounding, the tears were forming as I felt Mack’s pain and the terror of his dreams.  I think to myself, there is no way I’ll ever be at a point where I can finish this book; I, too, was having nightmares so terrible that I desperately tried not to sleep. Just as the great sadness consumed Mack, it consumed me.  I closed the book, wondering if I’d ever finish it.

I’m happy to say that I did have the courage to pick it up and continue reading it.  This fictional book describes pain, anguish and fear in such detail that you can feel the pain gripping your heart, then, it does something wonderful.  It takes you through the healing process.

The author, William Paul Young, does a wonderful job with having the characters asking questions we would typically ask, expressing doubt, anger and fear.  He then reminds us that it’s of our own free will that develop our relationship with our heavenly Father.

For a fictional book, there were many passages that were full of amazing truth.

“Faith does not grow in the house of certainty”

“Don’t ever discount the wonder of your tears.  They can be healing waters and a stream of joy.  Sometimes they are the best words the heart can speak.”

This book has been a source of controversy over doctrinal issues.  I suggest you read it, pulling out the powerful truths that are throughout the book while simply enjoying it –  not judging it based on doctrine, not judging at all.  Let your heart feel the emotions that Mack is feeling as he is working his way through grief and pain, dealing with the issues of forgiveness and struggling to keep it all together for his family.  Sooner or later, you’ll have your own great sadness to deal with, and you’ll remember – God is there, through everything…even when you feel He isn’t.

Megan 2009

It’s 2010 and many are asking about Megan and how she is doing.  Here are the entries from her journey in 2009.  Again, my heart is amazed at how many people stepped up, encouaged, prayed and still to this day, ask me – how is Megan.  Lets journey back to November 2009.  Shall we? Love having you walk and talk with me.  It inspires me.

It’s November now.  Meg’s doing well.  Her stomach is working again, she is eating and digesting. It (her stomach) had stopped working completely.  No liquids, no solids – nothing would digest, everything would come back.  As bad as that was, as hard as that was, the worst part was that 2 doctors didn’t believe us.  2 doctors said, you are doing this to yourself.  Imagine, one Doctor, that has known her for her entire life, telling her that “if you’ll simply NOT throw up, your food will digest” or this is in your head…etc. etc. etc. Never had we had a problem with our pediatrician believing us, until this. Even though we told her doctor that she “held” her food in – YES – HELD in so she would not throw it up, for SEVEN hours on the fourth of July, sadly enough, he still didn’t believe us.  I could see it in his eyes.  I could see it all over his face.  He thinks she has been purging all these months. She has not. I am with her each time it happens.

Anyway – back to November.  She has been on medicine that cause her stomach to work, but at such a high price.  The pain it brings is horrid.  I see it all over her.  Every time I force her to take the meds, she has to endure pain so that her stomach will work.  I know there are so many parents who are going through so much worse with their children.  I simply can’t imagine some of the grief many parents go through day in and day out.  My heart goes out to you as you hold on to your precious child. As you journey through each day, one day at a time. As your heart is fearful of tomorrow.

I get a letter from a friend. One who is supporting Spreading Joy but feels like he needs to send an extra blessing along with the letter.  It says not to think, just go with the blessing.  I don’t have to think…I know what to do.  I want my princess to have peace in her stomach. I want her to smile again and be your normal, typical teenage girl.  I want her to have some good times of pure joy.

I don’t have Meg with me.  It’s Saturday night. I gaze at the letter. “All who touch it will receive a blessing. ” I want Meg to have it.  She needs to have this. She needs to smile, laugh and have a good time.  I contact Richard Mayhan, a fellow prayer warrior and friend who God has used to help round up prayer warriors on Meg’s behalf many times.  He knows that on Sunday afternoon, when we go to the altar and pray with Meg, we are praying for special healing and pure joy for her.  I take the letter to church on Sunday. I’m not at my own church because of a death in the family.  Many family members are there and I get separated from Steve and Meg.  I’m reading in my Bible in Matthew where the faith of the friends heal the sick.  I message that verse to Richard and he says that he is there, reading that as well and so is another person. To stay there, pray there – keep my faith right there.  That so far 10 people have agreed to pray with us when we go to the altar.  He is tweeting and asking who will pray.  I continue to pray that I would have enough faith. That I wouldn’t wouldn’t be the reason Meg misses out on a blessing of healing.  There’s 17 that have agreed to pray.  All I have to do is say when we are going to the altar and people all across the United States will pray at the exact same time. I sit in my pew in awe at the amazing friends I have, at the mighty God I serve.  Meg has struggled so much this year.  Her heart has hurt as badly as her stomach because we couldn’t get the doctors to believe us.  I hear back, 26 people are going to pray.  The service is almost ending.  My heart is racing as I hear 35 people are going to join us in prayer.   I give the word, we go to the altar – for a while we - Steve, Meg and myself are the only one’s praying.  WE don’t wait for the Pastor to invite us, no..we go.  Both Steve and I pray for our Princess.  Meg holds the letter. We ask for healing for her stomach as well as her heart.  We want her to be a happy normal teenager again. We get done, head back to our seats. I get the word that including Steve and myself 47 total people prayed at the same time for Megan. Amazing love for a little girl that they have not even met.

Now the faith begins.  We leave, go to lunch. I do not give the meds. She hates them. They hurt her so badly. She eats and the food stays. A week passes, two weeks passes. Still, food staying. No meds, no tears, no “but Mom”, no I need pain medicine. None of it.  I watch and laugh out loud - wow!! She is eating me out of house and home.  I’m giggling and thinking goodness….a few months ago I was forcing her to have milkshakes every day.  She says if she never has another milshake, it will be too soon.  4 weeks passes.  She is doing well. Eating. Gaining weight. While she doesn’t like it, I’m loving it.  Christmas Even rolls around.  The excitement of her brother being home, the festivities, the day itself. It gets to her and she is sick on her stomach.  Christmas day, she is sick for several hours.  Am I swayed – no.

Its now the END of January and Megan is doing well. No medicine and yet still digesting.  The Doctor had told us this was always going to be an issue.  That she would always have a problem.  And – maybe she will, who knows….but right now, as far as I believe, her stomach is working, on its own – thanks to My Lord.

Megan 2010

Oh, the wonderful friend that sent the blessing. He was part of the 47 that were praying for Meg, without knowing that I was using the blessing he sent. I had the honor of telling him sometime later that he was more instrumental than even he knew.  That was a great honor and joy.

If you have gastroparesis, we understand.  We believe you. We know how hard you struggle. Our prayers are with you. We will do all we can to help you walk down this path, and to have joy for your journey. WE will walk with you.

I love prayer warriors.  I love the faith of my friends.  I love how God gives us the desires of our heart. What is it that you need?  What are you praying for? We prayed all year long for Megan. Don’t give up.  Gather your friends and pray  – but don’t give up. Keep going before the Lord, don’t give up.  Keep asking, don’t give up.  Keep gathering with your friends and praying – but what ever you do…don’t give up…keep praying.

What do you need?

Thank you for your friendship, love and care for my princess! I’m blessed to have you in my life!

If you’re alone, I’ll be your shadow.  If you want to cry, I’ll be your shoulder.  If you want a hug, I’ll be your pillow.  If you need to be happy, I’ll be your smile.  But anytime you need a friend, I’ll just be me.  ~Author Unknown

Christmas time is the best time of the entire year for me.  I love the giving.  Everyone seems to be more giving and in doing so, without even realizing it, many are flooded with great joy for their very kind, simple acts of joy. 

Knowing this about me, it should come as no surprise to you that on Christmas Eve, I had a hard time making myself go to bed. I sat in the living room, watching my children sleep. A current family tradition, started by Todd when he was young, sleeping on the couch, Christmas Eve, with the tree lit and the Christmas music playing.  After spending 4 months of not actually having my family completely together, stealing this moment was quite a gift for me.  I force myself to sleep, knowing that the morning will soon greet me and we can spend time together.  I kiss them many, many times and excitedly go to sleep, anticipating Christmas morning!

I wake, having slept only a few hours. Merry Christmas I shout to myself! Everyone still sleeping, I sneak through the house so that I can enjoy my gift again. In the dark – I sit, quietly, with only the lights from the tree glowing, watching my children sleep, gazing at their still bodies admiring the fact that they are both completely at peace, resting comfortably. I love the Christmas music playing softly in the background and even giggle when a loud snore comes from the bedroom, knowing that Steve is sleeping soundly. This scene has played itself out for nearly 18 years now and my heart knows that I’m limited as to how many more I’ll get.  I’ve already taken their picture while they slept, much to my surprise, neither move.  The camera usually wakes Meg. She is so tall, yet sleeps on the love seat on Christmas Eve, still. Todd sleeps on the couch, my baby yet a wonderful young man.  My, how time does fly.

My heart wants every happiness, every bit of joy, every ounce of comfort for my family this Christmas. My heart wants to give them never ending hugs that are topped with a million smiles, so that they will always know they are not only loved, but adored.  They, my family, are my very best gifts. They never have to purchase one single thing for me as I have far more then I could ever want, their hearts, the memories that I cherish and most of all their LOVE. 

Then, I imagine…God, my heavenly Father, sitting in heaven – looking down at me, while sleeping, even for just a few hours, wondering if I know that HE adores me, that HE loves me and that HE wants to give ME a million hugs wrapped with grace, comfort and mercy for the journey.  He wants to give me life so that I might have it more abundantly. I imagine Him, wondering if I realize that HIS heart wants me to always know that I am loved and adored, by HIM. 

I’m so thankful for my very best gifts.  I’m so thankful that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  I’m so thankful to be used, to have an opportunity of Spreading JOY every day.

Oh, the excitement is killing me.  I have loved this wonderful scene for much too long now.  I even let them sleep 4 minutes longer today! Its time to read the Christmas story from Luke 2, its time for giving, laughing and expressing love! It’s time for great joy!  I happily bounce through the house, proclaiming that it is Christmas, waking the entire family with hugs, kisses and singing. “Merry Christmas Yall!” I proclaim loudly, joyfully and with great excitement!

Thank you for reflecting on my best gifts of Christmas with me.  As you think back about your day, what traditions do you hold dear? What is near to your heart? What is your favorite memory of Christmas? Do you read the Christmas story with your family? What are your greatest treasures?

I hope that you treasure these things everyday of the year, not just Christmas.  Trust me, if you do, you’ll be splashed with great joy every step of the way.

Merry Christmas!

Just when you feel you have nothing to give…give the love that fills your heart! ~ Marie Wikle @spreadingJOY