Spreading Joy

A friend of mine reminded me of something today that I know and unfortunately – I know it all to well.  Love hurts!  It truly does. 

No matter who it is that you love, you run the risk of hurting because of that love.  Sometimes it’s done intentionally, other times it’s by accident and sometimes there is absolutely nothing that can be done at all.  We’ve all spent countless hours with tears falling because someone we love has hurt us, or someone that we love is hurting.   

When you give your heart away you run the risk of having to pick it back up, one piece at a time because someone has torn it into a million pieces.  You don’t know if your heart will be treasured as much as you desire.  But still, you take the risk and give it away.

Love hurts when parents don’t care or value their children as much as they should. Love hurts when we’ve taught our children to do their best, make wise choices and they still decide to do what will completely destroy their life.  Love hurts when you are sitting in the hospital room and the doctor tells you to do what you want to do because you’ve only got six months to live.  Love hurts when that person looks at you after hearing they only have a short time to live and says….”what do you think?” At that moment LOVE is killing you and ripping your heart to pieces and all you can mutter is, “I love you and I’m going to miss you deeply.” 

Love hurts when you watch your loved one slowly forget what they’ve known all along as well as how to do simple day to day things.  Love hurts every single time you leave them at the nursing home because they can no longer take care of themselves nor do they remember who you are.  

Love hurts when you do your very best but you hear that your best isn’t good enough. Love hurts when you no longer fit in because aren’t as nice looking as the rest of the group. 

Love hurts when you are holding a limp body that is convulsing with pain because it has been through so much and your only desire is for the pain to be placed on you, but you know differently. You can’t help them; all you can do is hold them and weep because love hurts so much. 

Love hurts when you get a phone call that says “there was an accident” or “they had a heart attack” and you think back to the last words that you said.  Love hurts as you are numb with grief and try to remember if you told them just how much you loved them. 

Love hurts when you’ve tried and tried but fail.  You look upon your friends and wonder when will it be your turn.  You love them, but love hurts.  Love hurts when your best friend is on the phone, crying and the words won’t come.  You have no comfort to offer her, so you listen in silence and cry with her, wishing your heart would speak to you so you could help her. 

Love hurts when you realize that “I’ll always love you” doesn’t mean forever anymore and love hurts when “I’ll never forget” ends way too soon.    

Yes, my beautiful friend. Love DOES hurt.  But Love also does many other things.   

Love comforts the heart that has been torn into a million pieces because the heart is an amazing thing and love is so very powerful.   It is the comfort of sending an emergency text requesting prayer and having that text replied to at 2:30 in the morning saying that others are praying as well.  

Love brings peace on the other end of the phone that simply says, “I’m sorry and I love you. I can not let you hang up until we laugh!”  and then simply talking until the natural effect of love takes place and the laughter simply oozes out.  

Love gives delight and puts a gleam in the parent’s eyes for a visit from a “complete stranger” at the nursing home.  They don’t have the memories anymore, but the time spent right now fills their heart with delight! Love is coming home to a parent that says welcome home, your room is waiting and even though you don’t deserve one single solitary nice thing from your parent, the forgiveness is greater than all that awaits you, because you know you don’t deserve that love or forgiveness anymore. 

Love assures the child and reminds him or her that he doesn’t have to pretend or be fake because their parents love them, just the way they are.  Regardless of weight, looks, IQ, status in school or the kind of career they end up in. Love is real and unconditional. Love is stomping through mud puddles while holding someone’s hand and laughing because this opportunity doesn’t happen often.  

Love is an opportunity to say I will miss you when these few short months are gone, but you have made my world far better than I could have made it without you.  Love is an opportunity to share and laugh at the little things that make life big. We can’t always count on being wildly successful or the greatest, but we can make the most of each opportunity brought our way, no matter how small. 

Love restores hope when all hope has been lost.  It lifts the head of the discouraged, it lights a fire in the eyes of the depressed.  Love motivates, encourages and inspires others to love and usually in a greater fashion.  Love shows the beauty of disfigurement, the tenderness of the aged, the passion of the brave and the power of the fearful.  Love thunders its power through the pain and sickness of cancer and the many diseases that grip our hearts with uncertainty.  Love whispers reassurance that no matter what, I’m right here with you.  

Love divides the pain and doubles the JOY.  Love is patient, kind, enormous, caring, abundant, boundless, dependent as well as helpful, responsible, peaceful, thoughtful, calming and serious. 

 Love will allow a mom to step between her child and danger without consideration of the outcome.  Love will wake a friend in the middle of the night without worry of what might be said later. Love brings music to the heart during the worst trial and allows you to sing even though tears may be falling.

Love is the mile wide smiles that are painted on faces because of the sparkle in the eyes of another.  Love is the hug that doesn’t let go right off the bat because the moment, the instant the hug is given the heart is flooded with spectacular joy from such a simple, yet wonderful gift.  Love is the joy that fills the soul when good nights or even good byes are exchanged.  Love is the tears that are shed because you wonder how in the world you ever made it through the day without their love to begin with.  

Yes, it is true.  Love does hurt and the risk is great.  But with all the wonderful things love does, I say go for it!  Love and love deeply!  Love is worth the risk as the returns are so much greater than the pain. 

Will you risk love?

Is it worth the risk?

{{HUGS}} yall

As I sit here, watching my son sleep, my heart is incredibly HUGE! 

For weeks I desired to see Todd for his 19th birthday.  Spoke of it with a few people, (ok…whinned about it too) but pretty much hid the desire in my heart as we are recovering from a difficult financial year last year…and the added cost of tuition each month, well – that is something else entirely.

I had, in my heart, resolved to quietly sit at home on April 3rd, speak to Todd on his birthday (while hiding the tears from him of course. Not that I do that well at all…I don’t.) and just lay low, let the day pass and make it through some how.  I know that there will be birthdays that I do not see him, I was just dreading the fact that it was going to be this one!  I was going to keep myself extremely busy – avoiding the pain and void of not seeing my son for his birthday.

I’m grinning as he snores, such a pleasant sound to my heart.

I have my very own Mommie to thank for this gift!  I’ll never be able to repay her as it is priceless to me.  We plan on leaving and NOT telling Todd so he would be surprised for his birthday – and boy, was he was so surprised!  I worked it out with his boss, Linda, that we would meet him at the store.  (Thank you Linda for your awesome gift of TIME with him!) 

He was turning around to do something as we were walking into the store! He had no idea we were coming. The shock, surprise and happiness were all evident as the emotions swept over his heart!  The best gift of all – the HUG!! I love hugs and am unashamedly a “hugger”.  I love real, two armed hugs!! The hug he gave me – priceless! 

So, I’m floating through this amazing weekend.  Trying to pry my babies out of bed now, so that we can just enjoy the day together. But, I could not resist taking a moment and saying – Happy Birthday Todd.  Isn’t it just the greatest thing to have such an amazing gift of time?! Yes. I believe it is. Oh, one more thing.  You, the readers of this blog, will allow me to indulge and express my complete adoration for my son..right? [nodding, sure you will - and I thank you]

Dearest Todd,

As you lay sleeping and snoring, you are also doing something else.  Warming my heart!  I have been watching you for hours now, so very thankful for this gift of time with you.  You remember when you use to jump up in the mornings and get ready for school as quick as you could, then lay back down with me until the actual time to get up? You’d always hold my hand.  I love that.  I love how you are fun, how you love to laugh and how wonderful you make us feel when we are around you.  I love remembering the little boy that you were, running around in your cowboy boots and diaper only, helping yourself to the last drink of mountain dew and saying “Thanks mommie for sharing with me”…and I love seeing the fine young man that you are growing into today.  I love that you still hug and kiss me in public.  That is a huge honor!! I’m so proud of you! So proud of the Christian path you are choosing. Choosing because you want to, not because it’s what I taught you to do.  So proud of how you are seeking God’s will for your life.  No matter where God’s will leads you, you’ll be the happiest and have the most JOY, right in the center, as HE will provide a way for you to walk the course He has set for you. I pray you keep seeking God’s perfect will for yourself, keep putting one foot in front of the other…step by step, day by day – one problem at a time, one pleasure at a time. Always remember the little things, they truly are the biggest, bestest things ever!  I sure do love you son. I simply can not find the words that will express my love and gratitude to the depth that I feel them in my heart. 

Love forever and always,

Mommie

To my very own wonderful Mommie….thank you!! I can only hope to grow up to be half as wonderful as you are!! I love you!

What are the desires you are longing for?  Is your heart heavy because you are missing a child in college?  Missing a child in the military – or something I can not imagine….are you missing a child, who is in heaven? 

We have so many desires of our hearts don’t we?  Let’s take them one at a time.  Working towards our goals and desires if we can.  If we can’t, working with what we have to meet the desires the best we can…just as I had thought I would have to, using skype, cellphone, email and texting.  To tell you the truth, had I not been able to visit with Todd, I would have probably contacted him using each one of those means. 

Keep plugging away at your dreams and desires.  You never know – you simply never know.

You are awake now! Time to get ready for a wonderful day! Love you Todd. I sure do love you lots n bunches!

{{HUGS}}

There you have it – 50 ways to make a difference without spending a single penny.